Positive Thoughts

Who would ever have thought that you would be receiving news so life changing that would throw my hopes and dreams overboard in one moment? If I have learned one thing from 80 years of living this amazing life it is this. Life is random and unpredictable and should be lived with a thankful heart and very open hands.

I have been so blessed with a wonderful life and health beyond what most folk ever have. I’ve hardly had a days illness apart from the normal things which afflict most people. Pneumonia is the worst I have ever suffered. And so now I am faced with something that is incurable and will eventually claim me.

Am I sad? Yes, I am so sad you cannot believe how sad I am just at the moment. I have cried and cried with grief. It all seems such a terrible thing to have happened just as my life was opening up with happiness. I am angry too. So angry. And bitter. How can I cope with these feelings? I just don’t know. I just don’t. I know that eventually we all have to go, one way or another. But I’m so sad it has to be this way. A slow goodbye it gets called.

But in the meantime I intend to live my life to the fullest. I intend to love to the fullest. I have been given a man who loves me so intensely and genuinely that I can only be the most grateful woman on this earth! He’s crazy! We are heading for a fight or two over this illness I can tell you that now! We are both stubborn but I am determined not to let him sacrifice his life for me. Rex wants to stay with me, and I understand this, but I just can’t accept him doing this. It is so wrong. It is a waste of his life for me. I feel so sorry for him and for me too. It is so cruel. Enough self pity!

As long as I am able I will be making love with Rex. My body is his and I am not going to waste a minute feeling sorry for myself when such wonderful experiences are waiting for me.

I don’t know if I can write any more about this now.

Love

Naomi

xxx

Fragility

Rex here. I got some very bad news today. It seems that Naomi has developed the early stages of dementia. Specifically Dementia with Lewys Bodies. DLB. It’s a crushing blow for us both, especially for her. She is such an alive person who has really only emerged into a fulfilling life. We’re in a bit of a nightmare just at the moment and are not quite sure where this will take us both. The doctors and the specialist are pretty sure it is what they suspected and we’re awaiting more tests and assessments. In the meantime we are trying to be as positive and optimistic as possible.

She has so much going for her. Physically she is like a 60 year old. Her heart, cholesterol and blood pressure are all amazingly good. She doesn’t wear glasses or have hearing problems. Her muscle tone is fantastic. She is in complete shock of course. It appears to be a slow form of the disease which is such a good prognosis, but it is still such a terrible blow for her…and us. There are lots of tears from both of us. It was just a couple of things that alerted us both that something was wrong. Her memory is always so sharp, but I had noticed she was struggling to remember how a couple of things functioned. Namely the computer keyboard. She was getting mixed up with which key does what…and got worried herself. So it was off to the doctor. Of course I have assured her that I will look after her. So it’s now going to be a battle with her to accept my help and care. Her first thought is NO! Definitely not.

On a lighter note I have to relate what she said to her doctor when we were first delivered the devastating results of the first battery of tests. How will this affect my sex life? The doc was very amused by her question. Her answer certainly reassured Naomi. “Sex will continue to be a major factor in your long term wellbeing Mrs. Laws. Your husband will be able to help you enormously with your sexual health.” He’s not my husband he’s my lover and that’s great news doctor! Because we are just getting into it properly. “There is absolutely no reason why not! Good for you! I wish all my elderly clients still had them. It will slow down the symptoms quite dramatically I believe!”

Well, Rex…there we go darling. We better keep going then! Lucky I’m enjoying it!

Naomi looked at me with her beautiful eyes and I gave her a huge hug. My god we have got a rough road ahead. I’m so thankful that we have each other. She’s a stubborn woman though. Not sure how she will cope with me in charge! There have been lots of tears.

So, there will be some changes for us both. As she has reflected on our relationship so far: If I hadn’t met you and fallen in love with you so deeply this would have destroyed me. But I am so happy with my life as it is now. I wouldn’t have changed anything for the last few months. Can we just live for today my favourite man?

And with that…I burst into tears. And we have been trying to get our heads around this. It has added an edge to our lovemaking. An desperate urgency to our relationship.

Naomi says she will write a post soon. Oh how fragile life is. I’m so thankful we have grasped every moment we have been given. Never waste a minute. Never regret a moment.

X

Rex

Crash Landing

Well its Rex here! Naomi’s a bit shell shocked just now and we’re recovering from a tough night. Her son returned from his trip with his family to Italy/Europe and landed in her dining room with a bang! Tom is her son. He’s about 52 or so. Lives in another city and visits occasionally. She loves him dearly and I know he really cares for his mum. Nikki is the daughter about 48ish. She lives in the country not far away from here with her second husband and the farm. She visits her mum at least once a week and rings every day more or less. She knew that Naomi was away with a friend skiing. So she arranged for some food in the fridge for her return! She’s a sweet lady.

So…. Naomi organizes a family get together for Sunday night! Easy! I was invited too…….. Nikki happened to go into mother’s bedroom and noticed the bed was messed up both sides! She took Naomi aside and quizzed her….apart from the elevated mood level and general happiness she saw….who’s been in Dad’s side of the bed mum?? Have you got a man friend? So the beans got spilled to Nikki. Poor Naomi trying to explain to her youngest that a man is sleeping with her mother! So she told her all about me and us…. Nikki was initially very upset. She has very fond memories of her father which was quite understandable, he was a devoted dad. So, she went very quiet towards her mum and cool towards me! Awkward? Yes. Enter Tom. “Mum’s sleeping with Rex” Tom looks at his mother..You’re joking?! Rex…your neghbour Rex?! No darling she’s not joking. I am sleeping with Rex, and I’m very happy about it too! Well! That’s told them! It’s not going away that easily though. “Mum! That’s disgusting…dad’s only been gone five minutes! Don’t you think that’s a bit soon to be launching (his words) into a new relationship?” No I don’t Thomas…but you obviously do! Then she bursts into tears and runs away into the bedroom. “What did I say?” Tom asked, arms spread out wide. Well, I struggled to keep my mouth shut I can tell you that much. “Well?” He looked at me bewildered. “Tom, let me try to explain a little of what has happened while you’ve been away living your life the way you want to….” Your precious mother has been lonely and hurt and lost after the death of her husband of many years. She is a beautiful woman who needed some care and companionship. I was here just at the right time. She was there for me just at the right time too. I’m not here to take away from your dad….ever! I’m a totally different person who loves your mum for who she is. She’s lovely. She’s funny. She’s beautiful.

Nikki: So you’re sleeping with her too?

Yes and the other thing too! And believe it or not we are both having fun doing it too!!!

Nikki: Shit! I can’t imagine mum having sex at her age. That’s too much information. Good for her though. I thought she was well past that! Dad was a silly old prude when it came to sex. I was aware of her being so much happier to be honest. I just didn’t put two and two together. I can’t quite see her having a boyfriend oops man friend! It’s just not mum somehow. Laughs. “Oh you have no idea what your mother is like” Nikki: Obviously I don’t! Chuckling away. Well well well then.

Tom: Well I think she should be ashamed of herself at her age! And you (looking at me and pointing a finger) You should have stopped this happening! Shit…she 80 for God’s sake. She’s an old lady. You’ve just taken advantage of her loneliness and being vulnerable. Next thing she’ll be changing her will!!! (Oh dear, here we go!)

“I think you need to calm down here Tom. Take a deep breath. Don’t say anything you may regret mate. Have you talked to her? Have you listened to her?” I tried to get him to sit down…his sister tried too. He was very upset. VERY!!! Breathing heavy…eyes looking a bit wild….I thought I’d get smacked. I sat down next to him and put my arm around his shoulder…tentatively. “What’s really going on here Tom?”

Nikki: I know exactly what’s going on here Rex! he’s feeling bloody guilty, that’s what’s going on! promises, promises, that’s our Tom! Looks good, sounds good and then does nothing! That’s what’s going on here! Poor old mum, struggles away. neighbours do everything to help her. I’m the only one within reach, so I cop all the responsibility of course! Tom’s up there in Akld and pulls all the financial strings and looks bloody good. Who came and sat with her when dad was dying? Who came and looked after her when she broke her leg a few months ago? ME! You’re the one who should be ashamed of yourself Thomas.

So. there’s nothing like being told by your younger sister! This is sort of what he said back to her:

Rex, I promised to look after mum when dad died…and I haven’t done it. I was always going to get down and sort her out. I never did. I just got busy. Then you said about her being lonely and sad and you being there for her and I felt really angry at myself for not being there. So I guess you’ve all filled in for me. I feel really bad.

Well Tom I guess your mum needs a really big hug from you right now. No condemnation or judgement. Okay? Then maybe she can tell you about her life now…. off you go….and he went. I could hear a lot of tears and sorrys coming from up there.

Nikki and I sat and she held my hands and looked at me just like her mother does! “Rex, mum told me all about the two of you. I think it’s so lovely for both of you. Really! Truly! If mum’s happy…then I’m happy for her. Tom’s a hot head that’s all. He loves her to bits. He’s just feeling guilty for neglecting her. He needs a kick up the bum sometimes. He can be quite selfish. I just don’t want her getting hurt that’s all. She’s been hurt a lot over the years.

A little while later the two of them appear out of the bedroom. Tom’s got his arm around his mum, which is lovely, and she’s in her default state…. tears!

She comes over and puts her arms around my neck and gives me a huge hug! Nikki claps!!! Funny. So finally, we can all sit down in a civilised manner as adults and talk about what has been happening! Naomi is still weeping a bit, but I’m sort of used to this now and I just let her go. Her kids are good kids. It’s tough being the children in a single parent type situation. So I do some talking now.

“You guys have got to let your mum pick up her life now and live it the best way she knows how. She’s 80, and life is slipping away from us so fast. I can say without a doubt that we love each other dearly. I think she’s amazing. And I think he’s amazing back! You guys can see how happy I am. You know it was tough with dad over the years, poor old dad. he struggled so hard with his past. there are things I have never told you that I need to say to you which may explain some stuff. Hard things.

Oops! Dinner’s ready! The spuds will be boiled dry. Let’s eat!!

So we eat and laugh about the two oldies sitting at the table. We look at each other sometimes… life is good!

Sometime in the night we are both lying there in bed together…..Rex, Rex…. this feels awfully naughty- us lying here naked in bed together while my kids are sleeping in the other rooms! Would it be okay if we made love… quietly? I need to make love to you. And we do… well, quietly is not an easy thing for Naomi, and at one stage, just as she was about to come, I had to put my hand over her mouth which then made us both burst out laughing even louder than her noises!! “I wonder what the kids thought of that ….MUM!!!???” Shhhhh Rex….

THEN………SUDDENLY………”Mum… Mum… shhhh… don’t wake Rex….”. Whaat? Nikki? What do you want? What’s the time dear? “About 7.30….” Suddenly there’s a rush of sheets being pulled up to cover over us and Naomi’s siting upright in the bed with the sheet up to her neck! Nikki’s sitting on the edge of the bed looking at both of us pensioners trying to get some modesty around this situation. Don’t worry Rex! She always comes in and sits and chats in the mornings! Nikki, just give us a minute darling to make ourselves. decent…. “Oh.. sorry Rex, I forgot about you being here with mum!” Giggles from Nikki and Naomi! Nikki: “You’re alright there Rex! You’re covered enough! Mum! I can’t believe your sleeping in the nick! You NEVER did that before!” Well, Nikki dearest, there’s a few things have changed around here lately!

Nikki wants to know how all this happened, so Naomi goes over it all and THEN in comes TOM!!! Crickey! The whole bloody family! I need to have a pee!! So Nikki goes and makes us all a cuppa, which then gives me a chance to dash to the loo and get a robe on the way. This is a very intimate family conference. When the cup of tea is made and we’re drinking, Naomi proceeds to tell the kids the whole story about us, and how we met properly and about Les and his family issues. (Yes I did!, and it was very hard) (Naomi) There’s tears from all 3 of them at this point. Tom is very quiet, while Nikki asks lots of questions about her mum and dad’s relationship. It’s a very hard time for Naomi, and she’s very brave and honest without demeaning Les at all. She loved him very much, that’s one of the things about her that so impresses me. Her loyalty and devotion to her husband and her kids. I decide to sneak out and make some breakfast for us all and leave mum there with the two children. It’s been a tough 24 hours, but somehow, we have all come through this well.

I happy. We are all happy. Breakfast is a much lighter affair!

Sex, lovely Sex!!

It’s so nice being home back in my own bed! The older I get the harder it gets to sleep in strange beds! Especially with that strange man sleeping next to me. Theres something nice about familiarity between two people as we get older. Rex has been on his own for nearly 5 years and I’ve been on my own for well over 2 years. We are both in pretty good condition. Neither of us has to make visits to the loo during the night…unless we’ve made love and then I take a quick visit to pee. I remember getting an infection down there a couple of times and didn’t like it. But its just so lovely being able to jump back in beside a warm body and cuddle up and drift off to sleep…as long as I can get to sleep before he does!!!! SNORING!!! If I cuddle up to him it’s okay. If he cuddles up to me I get it in my ear!!! Lol. Either that or he gets a pillow over his head!

But what I really love most is the way he will sometimes gently lift my leg if we are facing each other and insert himself into me and just gently rock back and forth inside me. I feel secure. Loved. Complete. Last night we both went to sleep like that! It was heavenly to stir at some unearthly hour with Rex’s penis still inside me. Beautiful.

Now here is a story I must write about. I go to a aquasize class 2 or 3 times a week at the local swimming pool. There are usually about 15 or 20 women about my age there. We jump up and down and do all sorts of silly exercises. When I say my age I mean retired ladies over 65 and up to about 85 or so. They are all very active women. I know most of them quite well because I have been going for a few years. We all have a coffee and a muffin after our session and like most women we chat and catchup. This Saturday one of the ladies asked me where I had been for the week. Well! I whispered to her that I had been away on holiday with a MAN for the whole week!

The group at my table just burst out laughing. They didn’t believe me. They just didn’t! So I showed them some photos I had a my phone to prove it. It was so funny. Naomi’s been away for a naughty holiday! I just smiled and said why should the young ones have all the sex? They were shocked. Did you really do it? All the time I said to them! And I have orgasms too. One friend said she couldn’t remember the last time she’d had sex. She said she never had an orgasm ever. I was quite the celebrity. I told them a few stories of what we got up to. A censored version of course! It made me realise how lucky I am to have Rex. And how happy I am. And how sad it is that us oldies have decided we don’t deserve to have a sex life anymore. I sat and chatted to a couple of them for ages after everyone else had gone. It was a bit sad to think we were all missing out on so much of our lives because we are getting old. Anyway I told Rex about it when I got back home and we decided to celebrate. Heehee.

That’s all today from me. Except to say that its snowing down where we have been. I asked Rex if we might be able to go down again…he said no. Once a century is enough. And even if I tried to bribe him he still resisted my charms. Bugger! Even my charms aren’t enough. Lol.

Love N

XXX

Home!

Wow! I have had the most wonderful dreamlike time away with with a man who loves me and makes wonderful passionate love to me as well! Did you know what is so exciting? I love sex! I really and truly love it! To get to my age and say that is so nice. Ok, we are just like a couple of youngsters who have found each other. That is true. But I don’t care. Sex is great and it brings us so close together before and during and afterwards too. Sad to reach 80 and just find it out.

It’s a bit of a sad homecoming. One of my dearest friends in our Lane is dying of ovarian cancer. It is just awful to see her wasting away. A vibrant lovely lady who always had a kind word and a gift for everyone is now just skin and bones. She is 73. The other piece of news is that my next door neighbour who is 82 is selling and moving into a retirement village….that is going to be hard to see. And it’s hard for me to think about the fact that I’m only 2 years younger than she is. Life is not forever. And just now I wish it was! I am so so happy.

That’s what my son wanted to do with me!Well, it ain’t gonna happen! Not yet anyway!

Never take good health and wellbeing for granted. I have always kept myself fit and have put in many hours at pilates and working and swimming. I know I’m old and wrinkled, but the chance of a second shot at love has given me a new lease of life. My man loves me and compliments me all the time on my appearance. Even the bits that are not usually talked about! Especially those bits! lol. So I am even confident enough to be in the nude around him most of the time. Freedom. All that time walking the hills around my home is paying off. My doctor did a check up and full physical just before we went away. I was a bit worried that I would not be able to have sex regularly at my age. She did an internal and checked around that part and pronounced me very fit for as much sex as I wanted!! She was very amused when I asked about the amount of fluid I get when Rex is working on me around that area. Sex is good for you Naomi she said! Its agreeing with you! So that’s good. Rex was pleased to hear that of course!!!!

So many of our age and younger have closed up the shop for good. It’s not healthy for a couple to miss out on that part of their relationship and just be friends. I think I’ll start a club for over 70 women! No one talks about it. Women are bad. We get embarrassed when we start talking about it even with each other.

Anyway that’s enough talking about getting old. I’m sitting at a cafe in full sunshine doing this while my man is looking at me with those big eyes of his. I could just eat him up he’s so lovely.

Rex has just told me that he has sent the story about the car park man online! That was so embarrassing for me. It was funny too when i think about it. Lucky he’s from the other side of the world. he did get an eyeful that is for sure. But we did get some lovely photos from it, so that’s ok then. Don’t ever get carried away and throw your curtains open in the nuddy!

Well, I’m not as good a writer as Rex is. I talk more and he writes it all down. We better hit the road again. We’re going topless today!… no not me… the mercedes. lolĀ  It’s still about 3 hours until we are back home again. Boohoo.

X

Naomi